Dear Pa...

Music: Aiko-シアワセ Mood: Heaty

Dear Pa,

You have always given me an impression of a conservative, hot tempered and a very male chauvinist kind of father.

I have never been fond of you since young, I have even secretly thought of having other people's dad as my own dad, and not you.

I have always hated you for the fact that you never admit your mistakes, and you thought that you will always make the right decision, speak the right language and do the right things- thanks for being such a 'male chauvinist'; that's why I'm amazed that how ma can never erupt.

I hated you for beating me up till this day, my latest scar would be an indistinct scratch mark on my left arm, that was during the third day of CNY early this year. Yes, during CNY.

When we are in a fight, you never failed to bring up ancient stories of how bad I am academically, no matter how far away that topic is from whatever we are fighting for.

No matter how healthy my hobby was, you will never allow me to participate in any form of Saturday school curricular, like the school band(too much time will be wasted on music for nothing), the chinese orchestra (you will not be able to manage any chinese instruments)or tae-kwon-do (girls shouldn't participate in these kinds of cho-loh (in hokkien) sports).

We have shared the same nose, same lips and same temper- sizzling HOT. On a bad hair day, you will always scream and scream and scream and scream at me. We were notoriously famous for screaming and arguing at each other in our quiet neighbourhood, at least trice a week.

That's why I have always hated you.

Maybe I have been in Melacca for a tad too long, or maybe there's really been changes in you that I hadn't been able to notice untill...recently.

There's been much less screaming and fighting now, which we always do during dinner.


I have noticed a much more patient you lately, where you seemed to talk at a slower pace and shared a piece of your mind with me and Pui Yee, which you never do.


During the final two months in Melacca, I'm surprised that you started calling me daily to make sure that I'm eating healthily, which is normally what ma will only do.

There was one Sunday afternoon, we were at the living room reading newspapers, minding our own businesses. Out of the blue, I just looked up from my papers and gazed at you for a few seconds...pa, your hair's been so much more silvery now, and you have been exposed under the sun for too long,that you looked so unhealthily tanned and wrinkled. I never knew, till that moment, that you are actually...getting older.

Three nights ago, when I received my final exam results, I happily went downstairs to tell you and ma about the good news. Ma continued watching the tv program and didn't respond, but you congratulated me. I have extended my Degree for a year and I knew that you and ma felt embarrassed when relatives started asking you whether have I graduated from Uni or not. I'm so glad this has finally ended. Suddenly, there was a new tv commercial showing a scene where a daughter has finally graduated and said to her aged dad,' pa, I've graduated!', in her graduation robe. I couldn't take it any longer... my nose turned sour and I ran back upstairs and cried on my bed and to Pui Yee.

Though you have given me some bitter childhood memories, nevertheless, I forgive you for what you have done. I'm grateful for what you have been trying to do lately, like sitting down and talking to me about my health, my education and my future. You have brought me and Pui Yee a car each lately; You have asked me whether I wanted to pursue my masters at Australia, and you would reserve some money for me if I ever decide to do it.

That is why I will learn to love you more unconditionably.

Thanks for everything and Happy Father's Day, pa~